Merry Christmas!! and a Happy New Year 2011!!

Need I say more about seasonal greetings? :P

Here is a good one I read about on Yahoo's Fit to post thingies.. someone commented..

"On the first day, God made the heaven and earth and everything in between....
From the second day after, everything.. MADE IN CHINA.."

Lmao.. very funny hiak hiak. But come to think of it.. it would have made sense for God to have outsourced to China as it would have been much cheaper to produce.

The following is all about humour, a ficticious page from my warped fragile lil mind.. and if you cannot take jokes AND if you take religion and nationality too serious to have a funny poke, AND if you don't like what you read.. TOO fricking bad!!!!!!! No one is forcing you to READ, just BUZZ OFF!!!

Otherwise.. heh heh heh have fun reading lol..

Hmmm come to think of it.. I think in the beginning when God made Adam, he wanted the first human prototype.. but you know lar, China's reputation for "quality" goods lor.. I don't think they understand the meaning of that word leh.. lol ok ok back to my observation..

So God ordered the first prototype of human from a factory in China and sent them Davinci's blueprint.. and viola, when it was shipped to Heaven in a box marked "Haven" attentioned to "Got".. I think HE would have the wisdom to forsee what was to follow... well.. HE didn't and so happily tore open the box and was very, very happy indeed to see Adam was every bit his blueprint to China was.. right down to .... oh no...

...wait!!....

Slluurrrrpp.. yummy!!

God counted and O.M.G lor... he found Adam missing a rib.. I mean.. sigh..

HE was disappointed and immediately called the China factory about their mistake.

"Solly!! Solly!! We send you a replacement but you have to TT over a replacement fee, hao ma?"

So to and fro went the argument over who should be paying for the missing rib mistake until God agreed that henceforth, China should have the largest population in the world... sooo the Chinese relented...

Another 3 months went by and a sweet choral by the heavenly angels, "Ahhhhhh.. you have mail!..." signalled the arrival of another non-descript, brown, re-cycled cardboard box attention to "Got" again from China.

God tore it opened eagerly and lo and behold... HE flew into a rage.. (Author's note: This terrible wrath unleashed upon the earth was probably what killed the dinosaurs lor.. YAR LAR.. I said MOST likely lor..)


What God found was this... where Adam had wavy, curly black locks of hair, this new human model had long, just past the shoulder blonde silky hair.. where Adam had an little neck imperfection, "(ahem)manufacturer's fault", the part where future human kind would call it an Adam's apple.. this new model had none (here, it was noticed that someone from the China factory had stuck a yellow post-it note stating the QC department has proudly detected that defect and fixed it by removing it from this model!! :PP)

Ahem.. focus on the said faulty parts....

Further inspection by God was to make him exasperated.. where Adam had pectorals..the new model had similar chest muscles but seems out of proportion, perhaps even a little swollen (Further clarification from the factory was that probably a faulty pump might have pumped a little too much air into the chest area created 2 lumps of protruding mass...sigh

This time, the ribs were in order.. no missing ribs this time! HA! but... O.M.G lor... almost everything else was correct.. but .. but... it was missing an important part further down.

"Ah!!! That is our mistake!! Solly!! Solly!! Our hardworking comrades just found that missing part on the factory floor near the packing area... must have been one of the handlers tried to squeeze in the part but didn't quite cut the packing box to the right size. Can we DPEX over to you and you glue it back? Easy! Just grab and jab it upwards lor? Ok?"

God was furious... and HE leaned down to earth and started to use his finger and flick out pieces of the great wall of China.. flicking off entire sections of the wall here and there randomly.. "You like that? and that? and that? Opps! what about that??" Roared God.

*Most probably why the great wall looked the way it looked today, so half f**k, evidence of China's quality control, built in the middle of nowhere, not fully completed, not fully joined on the left and right, sub-standard building materials... and this was supposed to be the wall that stopped invaders ah?.. O.M.G lor... *facepalm*

The great wall of China is one of the greatest and most magnificient achievement of the human race in my opinion.

"Solly! Solly!! Stop flicking aledy!! We send you new replacements, ho ok? ok lar? ho ok??"

As eons go by, millions of years and 6 billion plus human replacements later, we get all kinds of people, black, white, brown, hairy, furry, baldy, big, small, airports, double Ds, perky, droopy, horse, rabbit,...each replacement to heaven would almost always result in a unique imperfect human, come to think of it.. meh.. according to biology, its normal to have one of the male testes bigger then the other and one to hang lower than the other.. *slap forehead*

Luckily I am capable of self-control and censorship.. there were a lot more to say here, but I have to stop before I get out of hand, well, also because I am out of time lol. Only if you know me and in person will I unleashed the humour of CJ unto you personally and all night long hee hee lmao..hee haa..

Anyway la..

This blog is all about having a fun year-end and new and interesting new year to come.. And of course here's to wishing my diet and fitness plan works and to a new healthier and sexier new me soon!!!!! :P Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! :P

CJ :)
I'm going for a night jog now.. to-da-looooo..