More time to myself

Weight: 106.9kg

Its been like 3 weeks to the day I started my diet change and workouts. The changes to my body is nice. Not only am I constantly dropping weight, I am also dropping inches off my waistline.

Every week, I would retire some clothes and take out the smaller sizes which couldn't fit just months before.  First, its a nice feeling, second, at least my wardrobe is changing lol.

Stamina, strength and flexibility is up..  not yet back to my usual self, but I feel we are almost there. For one thing, I KNOW my speed is back up..  which will lead to more explosiveness, more strength and definitely lead to more speed. Ahhh.. that is a good feeling.

In the beginning, I guess no one gave me a second glance at Evolve as I began my Muay Thai training as a level 1 beginner. 3 weeks later, yesterday at training, I got this suspicious feeling I was being quietly observed by the trainers. (For what? I don't know..  but I definitely got their attention)

Ever since my mother passed away, Pamela has been wanting more time to herself and her friends, my kids are all grown up. They want to be independent. My youngest one seems frustrated I am tagging along to her ballet lessons... my eldest one would like more time to go out on her own.

Sigh. Nobody needs me around anymore.

For almost 24 years, I have build my activities and life around my family. I keep thinking that if my kids would leave the fold sooner or later (I hope later..  but argh), I would still have my wife by my side. But boy was I wrong, now everybody has their own lives to live. And I am getting depressed.

Well, depressed and happy. Oxymoron. At least I have time now to go back to training for myself. My favouritest outfit in the entire universe... my karate gi. I have finally shrunk back to a size where I can wear it comfortably again. Not to mention my kuro obi. THE belt which is 22 years old :)

Once I think I look more like my former self in my go, I will post another picture of it here.  Unless depression gets the better of me and I kinda die. Then you will still see me in my gi, except it will be in a casket.  Yeah.. I hope my wife remembers that I specifically ask to be cremated in my karate gi.

Ex-wife, ex-kids, all these are no longer important. What matters is how to move on from here.

We shall see.

...we shall see

~CJ