Long road back to fitness

31 Mar: 121.7kg
4 Apr: 116.9kg

They say "When an injured bird with a broken wing dies, it died not of its injury but of its heart and broken will yearning for a sky never to be free again."

My mother told me I had heart murmur when I was young... and all I can do at most is brisk walking...  well a doctor said so. He has since passed away so I cannot prove to him miracles do happen.

My mother passed away peacefully and hopefully painlessly on 4th March this year from terminal pancreatic cancer, it was so fast from the point of discovery, 6th February, (was also when she was warded to TTSH), to the point she passed.  It had taken less than a month.

It was so helpless to watch her slip away everyday, every passing moment was agony. I remember it was the night before the chinese lunar new year like it was yesterday.  It was reunion dinner night.. a night where all the families would gather at a table and have dinner together.  I remember having to attend one such dinner with Pam's side of the family, but all I could think of was my own mother lying alone in the hospital bed.  So I took off and bought a bun. I went upstairs to her ward and caught her awake and alert :P  It was dinner time, so I ate with her. I said, "Ma, chi fan le. Wo men yi qi tuan yuan." She said ok, and we ate by the bedside, our last proper meal together as mother and son.

I used to visit her on Sunday mornings after my wet market shopping to get her groceries for the week, when I could afford it. Sometimes business is bad and my cash flow is low, I cannot really buy anything much, I would just drive there and chat with her. Sometimes I would stay there for hours on end.

After her funeral, I have another uncle, we call him Uncle Kheok Song..  He is my father's elder brother. He died after he had multiple strokes and complications. It has been a few years since he had the strokes. But still, to watch a person's life ebbing away slowly takes its toll.

One morning after the wake, I was walking past a mirror and took a good look at myself..  CMI.

I don't really give a damn how or what other people say or comment how I have gained weight, or waddle while walking..  but I MIND what I think of myself.  CMI.

So I begin. Training starts. Thus I am.

I will write more of my thoughts as my training progresses. Seow asked me if I am interested in a swan song tournament end of next year (2017) in the Philippines.  We shall see..

Signing off~
CJ